the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
