My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
