I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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