And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize