you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
