so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
