Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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