how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
