I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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