There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
