that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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