i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
