so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
