who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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