Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
please come you make the beer taste better
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Randomize
