The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
