My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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