I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Can i not drive my cunt home
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
