One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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