I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
