I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Shame is for Republicans.
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