Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
