Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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