Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
