I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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