it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
