1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize