Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
