my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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