I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
