we're blogging at a bar
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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