Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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