Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
