Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
