They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
