carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
well, you know. whores of a feather.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
