Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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