That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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