I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she smelled like a LAN party
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
