i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
