Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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