SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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