Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
