i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
