He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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