I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
