why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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