Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
