First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
