we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
