dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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