The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
